


Bias’s Destiel Chocolate Box Drabbles

by Goth-Bias (GothBias)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Break Up, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Loved, Drabble Collection, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, How do you tag for a drabble compilation?, Jealousy, Little Bit of Everything for Everyone, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is So Done, sam winchester is a good brother, why isnt that a tag already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothBias/pseuds/Goth-Bias
Summary: Cas catches him, of course he does, and gives him a gummy smile that makes him weak in the knees.It’s embarrassing, but if Dean were to be brought to his knees by anyone, he supposes it would be an angel.Or that one in particular, as it stands.-100 unconnected Destiel drabbles based off prompts from Tumblr.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	Bias’s Destiel Chocolate Box Drabbles

**Author's Note:**

> Please ignore any gaps in the underlined portions, I’ve been fidgeting with it for two hours now and haven’t been able to fix it. Hopefully it doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers me.

**_1._ **

It was just supposed to be a vampire nest, basically a milk run for them. An estimated few day hunt turned into a week after exterminating the nest didn’t stop issues going on in town. One particularly enthusiastic shapeshifter later and Dean is comically up to his knees in skin. The sticky feeling sinks into his jeans, and by god Dean isn’t a squeamish man, but the feeling makes his stomach turn.

“ I don’t get paid enough for this shit. ” He groans, shifting his weight as he tries to maneuver through the piles of skin.

“You do not get paid at all, beloved.” Cas reminds him and that reminder does nothing to help Dean whose favorite pair of jeans is being tarnished by whatever goop makes up a shapeshifter’s false skin.

**_2._ **

“ It’s important, I swear. ” Dean Winchester does not whine, he doesn’t, he just pulls out his words longer than necessary.

“Dean. Cat videos on YouTube are not “important”. I’m trying to read.” Cas does his signature finger quotes to the best of his ability with one hand firmly on the spine of his book.

“Dude he’s wearing little footie pajamas.”

Cas stands so quickly Dean can hardly process the movement, “That does sound  rather important.”

**_3._ **

“ How can you not like dogs ? ” Sam asks, frowning at Dean as the man dismisses the dog calendar in his brother’s hands.

“Hell hounds tend to have that affect on people.” Cas says, matter-of-fact, answering for Dean before he can even open his mouth.

“Exactly,” He nods, “Cas gets it.”

_‘He always does,’_ Dean thinks fondly, eyes tracking down the angel’s jaw.

Cas catches him, of course he does, and gives him a gummy smile that makes him weak in the knees.

It’s embarrassing, but if Dean were to be brought to his knees by anyone, he supposes it would be an angel.

Or that one in particular, as it stands.

**_4._ **

Dean looks at Cas with fire in his eyes and his jaw set heavily in place.

“ Don’t be ridiculous, of course I’m going with you. ” He spits out, as if the words are that of hate instead of that of love.

Cas steels himself and opens his mouth to say no, it isn’t a thing Dean needs to involve himself in, he tried to explain that much to him before.

“Cas, please?” Dean pleads, and  _heaven forbid_ ,  lightly sticks out his bottom lip.

It’s a dirty move, one Cas hadn’t prepared himself for, his resolve dissolves into a puddle.

“Fine.” He is a weak,  _weak_ angel.

**_5._ **

“Dean?” Cas gently presses a hand to his shoulder, “Are you okay?” The man had been slouched over the motel room’s table for several minutes now, face pinched and shoulders tense.

“ Shut up, I need to think. ” He grumbles back, dragging a heavy hand down his face.

“Beloved, it’s just UNO.” Cas reminds him, sharing a secretive smile with Sam over his boyfriend’s head.

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”

**_6._ **

Camping turned out to be a surprisingly fun venture, despite Cas’s initial thoughts on the matter. The days move slower than what Cas has been accustomed to over the years.

They spend days hiking and nights around the campfire, bodies far closer than what Dean normally allows, warmed by whiskey and fire.

Dean’s face is illuminated by the small campfire they lit, skin washed in golds and eyes bright with contentment. He looks younger like this, face soft and body relaxed.

“I love you.” Cas says and it’s a calculated risk.

“ You think I don’t know that already? ” Dean replies in lieu of a response.

“I figured 70-30, in favor of you not knowing.” Cas replies honestly and it startles a laugh out of Dean.

“I love you too, you know?” Dean finally says after a long moment and Cas’s cheeks embarrassingly heat up.

“70-30.” Cas repeats with conviction. Dean laughs and if he scoots just a little bit closer, nobody was there to say a thing.

**_7._ **

Cas’s face goes solemn and Dean’s face morphs into pure horror at the change.

“Cas don’t.” He warns.

“I have no other choice,” He says in defeat, then places the +4 card on top of the deck. Dean stares between the card and his deck in absolute disbelief.

Sam laughs in delight.

“I’m sorry. ” Cas amends, leaning over to pat Dean’s arm beside him.

” Yeah, right. ” Dean grunts in response, avoiding his boyfriend’s eyes as he adds four more cards to his overflowing deck.

**_8._ **

“ You were supposed to be my friend. ” Dean says, voice shaking and brows drawn together.

“Dean, do not be dramatic. I only said that Sam should be allowed to keep his hair long if he pleases.” Cas says tiredly, not even bothering to remind Dean that they’re dating.

“ _We’re_ the ones with a profound bond here, where’s my profound bond benefits?” Dean retorts.

The angel leans over and cups Dean’s jaw in his hand, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth.

“There’s your profound bond benefits.” Cas replies with a hint of sarcasm.

“I sure hope that’s a profound bond benefit.” Dean replies, snark still in his voice.

“I’m not going to kiss your brother, Dean.” Cas replies exasperated, completely unaware to the fact he started another argument.

**_9._ **

“ Oh my god, did we... ?” Cas’s lips are slick with spit and his face is heated beyond comprehension.

Dean is a mess, pupils blown wide, hair a wreck, and his neck marked soft pink.

“Uh huh.” Dean says distantly, pressing his fingers to his lips.

Cas licks his lips, “Want to do it again?”

Dean’s pupils somehow go even wider, “Fuck yes.”

**_10._ **

Failed hunts always suck, but they especially suck when you’ve spent several weeks on a case you just can’t crack. They just exhausted their last option, driving back to the motel with another failure strapped under their belts.

Sam is dead asleep in the backseat of the car while Cas sits upfront with Dean as he drives.

“How are you feeling?” Cas asks, sliding a hand over Dean’s shoulder soothingly.

“ I’m on the verge of a mental break down, but other than that, I’m good. ” Dean mutters, enjoying the soothing touch of Cas’s hand on his shoulder.

“Dean-“

“Yeah, I know. No need to get upset, we’ll figure it out. Blah blah.” He raises a hand from the wheel and motions like he’s dismissing the thought.

“I was going to say I agree, actually.” Cas says with an amused grin.

“Oh.”

**_11._ **

“ Please just pretend to be my date. ” Dean asks, embarrassed to the high heavens.

“Why would you need me to do that?” Cas asks, brows furrowed.

“Lisa just called me to have dinner with her and her new boyfriend. I can’t show up without a date, that would be fucking embarrassing. So can you do me this favor man, please?” He fails to mention Lisa had assumed he was dating Cas, invited them to a double date, and Dean had been too chicken shit to correct her.

“Yes, I suppose I can.” Cas replies with a sigh.

“You’re the best.”

**_12._ **

“ How was I supposed to know that? ” Dean asks, bewildered after Cas’s dramatic love confession and even more dramatic exit from the motel room.

“Dude, every monster or otherwise not human thing we encounter has outted him since you two met.” Sam points out.

“What? No they haven’t.” Dean replies, eyebrows raised.

“Uriel said Cas’s weakness is that he likes you.” Sam retorts.

“Well that-“

“Balthazar literally told you he was in love with you. Do I really need to go on?” Sam says loudly, overlapping Dean’s argument.

“No... I better follow him.” Dean admits.

Sam rolls his eyes, “You think?”

**_13._ **

“ I’m going to kill you. ” Dean mutters through clenched teeth, glaring holes through Cas’s back.

“You can certainly try.” Cas says, not bothering to turn towards him.

“Dude, you let Sam eat the last slice of pie. I’ll find a way.”

“I did not  _let_ him do anything, Dean. I’ll buy you a new one.” Cas says exasperatedly, though there’s a fondness in his expression. He turns around to face Dean and opens up his arms in offering. Dean grumbles the entire time but allows Cas to pull him into his arms regardless.

He hides his smile in the angel’s chest and Cas pretends he can’t feel it.

**_14._ **

As always, when things are going good Dean finds a way to fuck them up.

Things had been tentative with him and Cas, the verge of something different, and like always Dean messes it up.

It just takes one off hand comment during a tender moment to send Cas from loving straight to frosty.

“I want you to stay.” Dean pleads, catching Cas’s wrist as he tries to dodge around him. He knows Cas can break his hold, but the angel allows him to hold him in place.

“ Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. ” Cas says sharply, “I’m tired of playing games with you. Do you want something or not?”

Dean swallows hard and holds Cas’s gaze, “I do want something Cas, I do. I’m just...Shit. You know I’m not good at this. I’m trying to be, for you, and it’s gonna take some time, but I am trying.”

Cas’s eyes soften, if just a little.

“Okay. I’ll stay then.”

**_15._ **

“Dean I hate seeing you like this.” Cas says softly, eyes sweeping over the bottles of empty whisky and Dean’s glossy eyes.

“Close your eyes then.” He grouches, just a bit drunk and self destructive.

“I just want you to talk to me, you don’t have to drink all by yourself to cope.” He covers the glass of whisky with his hand when Dean goes to lift it.

“I know.” He mutters.

“Can you do that for me then? Talk to me from now on?” He asks, taking the glass away from him and setting it on the kitchen counter instead.

“Yeah, sure.”

“ Promise ?” The angel presses.

“ I can’t. ” Dean replies and Cas isn’t sure why he ever thought differently in the first place.

“Okay. I’ll be here when you decide to.”

**_16._ **

“ Why don’t you just talk to me? ” Cas asks frustrated, having been dodged by Dean all day.

Which is quite a feat to accomplish in a fucking  _car._

“Cas, I kissed you. That isn’t just something you talk out.” Dean says finally, having kept his mouth firmly shut for the last four hours.

“Fine. I guess we won’t talk about how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that then.”

The Impala screeches to a halt.

**_17._ **

Cas’s eyes are on Dean, as they always have been since the day they met. At first he claimed intrigue with him, studying his expressions to understand him. Maybe he would even say he’s admiring his handy work, wondering if he put that freckle a centimeter too far to the left. 

Nothing more than perfectionism and intrigue.

Now he’s certain he had only been staring because Dean is just so damn beautiful to look at. Even now, older and frayed around the edges Dean looks like a work of art.

“ It’s so obvious. ” Sam says beside him and Cas has the audacity to act confused if just for a moment. The look Sam shoots him tells him there’s no wiggling out of this.

“Do you think he knows?” Cas asks, his eyes flitting between Dean and Sam. He wants to be polite and look at Sam as he talks, but doesn’t want to take his eyes off of Dean.

“Nah, you know how he is about feelings and stuff.” Sam replies and Cas is momentarily soothed.

He is under no impression Dean Winchester would want him.

“Good.”

**_18._ **

Dean brushes his finger tips against Cas’s temples, chuckling to himself as he does so.

“ That’s not funny. ” Cas rolls his eyes.

“Dude, you’re going  grey. ” Dean remarks, humor in his voice.

“My vessel is six years older than you, Dean, of course I’m going grey.”

**_19._ **

Cas is barely in through the door before Dean rushes him.

“ I’ve been up all night worrying about you! ”

“I apologize, you know I cannot answer my phone while hunting. I could’ve scared the witch off.” Cas says placatingly, sweeping Dean up into an embrace.

Dean’s resolve crumbles as he dips down and presses his nose to the hollow of Cas’s throat. The angel hums and rubs a soothing pattern between his shoulder blades.

“Sorry, I got nervous when you took longer than I expected.” Dean admits and Cas knows how hard it is for him to say.

“It’s okay, beloved, I would react the same way.”

**_20._ **

“ Get out, or I’m calling the police. ” Dean warns as Cas walks into the bathroom.

“You would have a fun time explaining why someone who is legally dead is filing a report against someone who doesn’t exist.” Cas remarks, a smirk drawing up on his lips.

“I guess I’m just going to have to have fun then. Get out.”

“Dean, it’s just a pimple-“

“I look like frigging Rudolph, man.”

**_21._ **

“ Are you being sarcastic? ” Dean asks, eyes narrowing.

“ Me? Sarcastic? Never. ” Cas replies offhandedly, eyes firmly on the book in his hands.

“I’m going to kill whoever taught you to do that.” Dean grumbles.

“I’m pretty sure you did, Dean.” Sam pipes in.

“Bitch.” Dean spits out with no bite, a grin pulling at his lips.

“Jerk.” Sam replies in a similar manner.

**_22._ **

“ You don’t know anything about me. ” Dean says dramatically, fit with a wounded expression.

“I put you together piece by piece and have been your companion for the last several years Dean, I know you very well.” Cas responds plainly.

He’s not sure what caused Dean’s outburst this time, like much of the time, so he just defends himself.

“You told Sammy I wouldn’t mind if he took Baby.” He accuses.

_Oh, that._

“I thought you would be happy to get him away from the motel for a few hours, but if that’s not the case I can call-“

“Wait. Ha, you know what? Suddenly I don’t care at all.” Dean says, trying to play it cool.

Cas grins, his plan had gone just the way he wanted it to.

**_23._ **

“ We can’t keep doing this. ” Cas mutters tiredly, raking a hand down his face.

“What are you trying to say?” Dean bites back angrily.

“Any time we fight it’s explosive. You get angry and instead of expressing it healthily you want to turn it into a screaming match. We yell ourselves red, storm out, fall asleep angry, and expect it to turn out okay. It’s not good for either of us.” Cas expresses, holding up a hand when Dean opens his mouth so fast he can tell an expletive is about to come from it.

“I know that you’re only expressing yourself in the way you were shown growing up Dean, but things have to change. Okay? I love you so much and I am willing to work with you, but we can’t keep doing this.”

“Okay, yeah, you’re right.” Dean says weakly, his eyes not meeting Cas’s as he shuffles from foot to foot.

“Come here, beloved.” Cas opens his arms and Dean nearly trips over himself to lower himself onto the couch and into his boyfriend’s lap.

“We’ll be okay.” Cas says softly, closing his arms around Dean as he softly presses a kiss into his jaw.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Dean replies, muffled as he twists and presses his face into the side of Cas’s neck.

“You’re already forgiven.”

**_24._ **

“You’re late.” Cas reminds his boyfriend through the bathroom door.

They’re late to their first ever official date that isn’t a rinky dink dinner in the middle of nowhere and hopefully- fingers crossed- won’t be interrupted by a monster.

“I know, gimme a second man.”

“You have to be the only person in the world that calls their boyfriend that.” Cas sighs so loudly it’s almost comical.

“Sorry,  _sweetheart_ _._ ” He amends, missing the days before Sam picked on Dean for “friend-zoning his own boyfriend” and Cas (after learning what friend-zoning is) decided he hated it.

“Forgiven. Hurry up.”

Dean huffs in response.

**_25._ **

Being around angels that aren’t Cas makes Dean feel like an ant. They’re powerful and so much bigger than Dean. In the rhetorical way, rather than the physical, though he knows they’re rather large in their true forms as well.

Watching Cas interact with them is another thing in of itself.

If he’s honest, it makes him rather jealous.

Cas and the other angels have history. They understand eachother on a level Dean could never hope to achieve. He knows they have something special, him and Cas, but it’s not the same.

He shuffles foot to foot and feels like a flight risk, even as he presses into Cas’s side harder. The angel’s arm is crossed behind Dean’s back, a hand firmly placed in the small of his back.

Normally Dean would protest about being held like that in public, but the comfort it brings outweighs the internalized toxic masculinity threatening to run wild.

Cas, as if sensing Dean’s discomfort, leans over and mutters against his ear, “ You’re the only person I care about in this room. ”

After that, Dean doesn’t worry quite as much.

**_26._ **

“ You’re going to be okay, I promise. ” Cas mutters softly, pressing soothing hands to either side of Dean’s face.

Healing him from the witch’s attack had been futile sending everyone into a panic. Thankfully, Sam was on his way to Bobby to get a cure as they speak.

“Feel like shit.” He rumbles out, voice cracked and dry.

“I know beloved, I know. Sam will be here soon, give him time.” Cas says softly, pressing gentle kisses to Dean’s flushed face.

**_27._ **

“ This is all your fault! ”

Before Cas can even react he’s being grabbed by his trench coat and whirled around. Dean is holding onto him, face flushed, and eyes big.

“What exactly did I do?” Cas asks, head tilting.

“You...You!-“ Dean gives up on trying to explain and pulls Cas in, kissing him hard.

**_28._ **

“ Please tell me this is a joke. ” Sam winces.

Dean and Cas look guiltily between each other. They both agreed telling Sam first would be in their best interest, but seeing his reaction makes the two of them wonder if they read things wrong.

“No, Sam. We are not joking.” Cas finally says after Dean fails to speak up, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into his boyfriend’s hip.

“Damn it guys, I had a bet going with Bobby. Couldn’t you have waited another year or so to get together?”

Dean laughs so abruptly it sounds like it’s been torn from him.

Guess they had the right idea, after all.

**_29._ **

“Beloved...” Cas croons, trying to brush his knuckles against Dean’s jaw. The other man ducks his face away, a stubborn look taking over his features as he crosses his arms.

“ I hope I never see you again. ” He huffs.

“You’re being unreasonable and you know it.” Cas frowns.

“I think my reaction is warranted! You just told me you don’t like my cowboy movies.” Dean retorts, scrunching his face up.

“I was just pointing out the inaccuracies, I never said I didn’t like them.” Cas tries to soothe him, but gets dodged again.

“Same thing.”

**_30._ **

There’s feathers all over Dean’s car. Impossibly big,  angel wing  feathers.

His eye twitches.

“ Don’t freak out. ” Sam says slowly, “Cas needed to bring his wings to the physical plane so I could use the feathers for a spell. I swear we’ll get them up.”

“You had better.” Dean grumbles, stomping away from his car so he wouldn’t burst a blood vessel at the sight of it.

**_31._ **

Cas isn’t sure he understands the excitement of anniversaries. One big show of affection on a day of significance doesn’t seem like something needed when you can show your lover your affection every day.

“ Slowly turn aroun- did I not just say ‘slowly’? ” Cas moves in time with Dean’s voice before he even processes his words, then quickly corrects himself.

“Apologies, Dean.” He amends.

“Yeah, yeah. Just turn around slowly this time.” Cas does as he’s told and when he’s turned around finally he sees a blanket thrown out on the ground in front of the Impala, a basket full of food sitting on the blanket.

Dean is sitting on the blanket, nervously fidgeting. He’s as beautiful as ever, face flushed and smile wide.

“Oh. This is great. Thank you beloved.”

Maybe Cas sees the appeal in anniversaries after all.

**_32._ **

“ You’re the only person I trust. ” Cas admits quietly to Dean in the silence of the night. He’s painted in moonlight, freckles alike stars.

“Even after everything?” He asks, in a similar tone.

“ _Especially_ after everything.”

**_33._ **

“Cas, this is really big. I can’t- I can’t ask that of you.” Dean fumbles over his words, holding Cas’s face between his hands.

“ I would do anything for you, don’t you see that? ” Cas replies, smiling fondly, “If becoming human means being able to have a life and grow old with you, I’ll gladly do it.”

His angel is looking back at him like he’s the most precious thing in the world, and  _maybe_ he is.

“Okay,” Dean swallows hard, “If you’re sure.”

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”

**_34._ **

“That guy at the bar has been eye-fucking you for the last ten minutes.” Dean points out, seemingly out of the blue.

“Why would I care about that?” Cas asks, turning away from his conversation with Sam and towards where Dean is leaning against the pool table.

“I mean... you like men. He’s cute enough.” Dean shrugs.

Cas’s eye twitches and Sam tries to hide his smile behind the beer in his hand.

“ I’ve literally never heard anything as stupid as what you just said.”

“ _ What? _ ” Dean asks, taken aback by the smitey look on Cas’s face.

“I am here with  you  and your brother. I am not here to... fornicate... with men you find “cute” at the bar just because they stare at me. If I were to have sex with any man who stares at me a tad too long you would never leave my bed.” Sam guffaws beside him as Dean’s face turns cherry red.

“I-you-but” It’s almost comical to hear him stutter, “I’m going to shut up now.”

“Yes, that would be for the best.” Cas replies and turns his attention back towards Sam who looks like he’s trying to keep from collapsing back into laughter.

**_35._ **

It’s freezing outside, Dean’s nose is cherry red and cold to the touch even through his mittens. Stake outs suck, they suck even worse when it’s winter and your car is too obvious for the situation.

“You should come back to the room, I doubt you’re going to see anything tonight.” Cas softly says as he sneaks up behind Dean.

“I’ll be fine, I don’t want to risk it.” Dean replies gruffly.

“ I made you some hot chocolate. ” Cas bribes.

Dean turns to him and raises an eyebrow as he remembers Cas’s last run in with the microwave.

“Fine. Sam...may have supervised.” Cas slowly admits.

“Alright, you got me. I’ll come in.”

**_36._ **

Cas presses his fingers to Dean’s forehead healing all the cuts and abrasions he got from falling through a window.

Long story, don’t ask Cas because he certainly doesn’t know.

“ I am so lucky to have you. ” Dean mutters, pulling away from his touch and Cas’s eyebrows furrow.

“I must’ve not healed you properly, come here.” Cas says, reaching out for Dean again. The other man shifts away, bewilderment written all over his face.

“Dude, what? I’m fine. Cas- Cas stop, I don’t need healing seriously-“

**_37._ **

“I don’t like this.” Dean says, frowning at Cas.

“I know, but we have no other choice here. I’ll be back in a few days.” He says softly, brushing his fingers through Dean’s hair.

“ Just… call me, okay? ” Dean sighs, clearly hesitant to let Cas go on his own.

“Every single night, I promise.” He presses a kiss to Dean’s forehead and the other man melts at the touch.

Not a single thing of heaven or hell could keep him from him.

**_38._ **

“What the fuck was that?” Dean asks, eyes wide as he gently tugs at Cas’s wrist to catch his attention.

“What do you mean?” Cas asks, tilting his head.

“Uhh pretty sure he just called you Winchesters’ bitch.” Dean presses, raising his eyebrows.

“Yes... Winchester’s bitch. It is not exactly a secret that we are together.” Cas responds, confused.

“No, Cas, like plural Winchester.” When the angel shakes his head Dean turns to Sam, “Dude, c’mon. You heard it, right?”

“I hate to say it, but that definitely sounded plural.” Sam says hesitantly.

Cas pauses to think for a second, “Well there was a rumor that you two liked to- how do you say it- “share” me.”

“ That’s disgusting. ” Dean spits.

“I am inclined to agree.” Cas soothes, removing his boyfriend’s grip on his wrist so he can properly hold his hand.

“Of course you are, you got the best Winchester.” Dean puffs up proudly, squeezing Cas’s hand.

Sam rolls his eyes.

“I never said that.” The angel teases.

“Hey!”

**_39._ **

There’s a beat of silence, uncomfortable and stony. Dean can’t help the way his eyes keep drifting over to Cas.

Cas who doesn’t want anything to do with him.

“ What happened between us? ” Dean finally asks, wetting his lips.

“Nothing Dean.” Cas replies then immediately contradicts himself, “I told you I needed time.”

“It’s been a month since we’ve held a conversation longer than a few sentences or not about work.” Dean says, flabbergasted.

“I need more than a month to get over someone I’ve been in love with for years, so forgive me if it’s taking too long for you.” Cas retorts scathingly. His eyes are hard like ice and freeze Dean over as they meet his gaze for the first time.

“Sorry I just-“

Cas raises a hand and Dean stops in his tracks, “Save it. I do not need apologies. You do not want me and that’s okay, our friendship means more to me than that. I just need time.”

“Right, okay. I can do that.” Dean replies, ignoring the way his heart  wants.  Wants so badly it tears him apart at the seams with every glance.

It’s better for them like this. Better to hurt now, rather than later. The life they live doesn’t allow for something so soft and valued.

**_40._ **

Dean watches as the two male characters clash together on screen, mouths colliding and arms grabbing at one another like an unstoppable force.

“ Okay, I didn’t see that coming. ” He admits, appraisingly.

“Of course you didn’t.” Sam rolls his eyes, throwing popcorn at Dean from across the room.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Dean grouses, picking up the popcorn to flick off the couch. He’ll vacuum it later.

“It was pretty obvious to me,” Cas pipes up.

“Oh yeah? How so?” Dean asks mockingly, feeling out of the loop and embarrassed.

“They have a lot of chemistry,” Cas says thoughtfully, “They stand close together and have long prolonged eye contact. When Dave thought Chris died he spiraled, he even kept his necklace.”

Dean blanches at the thought of Cas’s trench coat that he transferred between every car he had until they were reunited.

“I... guess when you put it like that it makes sense.” Dean laughs to hide his nerves.

He has a lot to unpack later.

**_41._ **

“I love you, Dean.” Cas says softly and the other man’s heart feels full to burst.

Then it does-  burst that is.

“ That’s impossible. ” Dean blurts in panic.

“What?” Cas asks, clearly taken off guard.

“You’re an angel, you can’t love me-“

“Frankly I find that presumptuous and rude.” Cas interrupts.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.” Dean replies weakly, “I love you too, for what it’s worth.”

Cas’s smile is gummy and makes Dean’s heart flutter, “It is worth a lot.”

**_42._ **

Dean whistles quietly to himself as he walks up the sidewalk to the motel room he’s sharing with Sam and Cas.

“ Are you serious? ” Dean hears his brother’s voice ask through the door and he pauses in his step, hand hovering over the door handle.

“Yes Sam.” Cas’s rumbling voice responds.

He can’t help being curious, so he stands outside the door and strains his ears to hear more.

“Dude, you’re in love with my  brother? ”

Dean’s heart stops in his chest.

“For the fiftieth time since this conversation started: Yes, I am in love with Dean.” Cas retorts, the aggravation clear in his voice.

Dean turns away from the door and walks back down the sidewalk, resolving to come back later.

**_43._ **

Cas is talking to a man- if you can even call him that, seriously the guy is a twig and at least ten years younger than Dean with skinny jeans so tight they must be cutting off circulation- and Dean is  not  stewing.

His eyes never leave the pair, watching as Cas smiles at the younger man and listens with rapt attention. The man has hardly let him get a word in edgewise the entire conversation, but knowing the angel he doubts he even cares.

Then the twig puts an excited hand on Cas’s bicep and Dean damn near startles out of the booth he’s sitting in with Sam.

“You are bright green right now.” Sam says, who has been watching Dean with rapt attention for the last twenty or so minutes.

“ I’m not jealous! ” Sam raises his eyebrow at Dean’s outburst, “ Okay fine, maybe a little. ”

“If you wanted him you could go get him.” Sam says, gesturing with his beer.

“Ya think?” Dean asks, chewing at the inside of his cheek.

“Dude, yes. Go get him before I die of tension.”

When Cas hears his footsteps and looks away from the guy instantly, blue eyes twinkling, Dean knows he’s won.

**_44._ **

If Dean didn’t love Cas more than anything on this Earth (Sam and his car not included), he wouldn’t be at a bee farm right now.

Unfortunately, he does love Cas more than anything on Earth (okay so maybe he loves him more than Baby, but not more than Sam) so he’s holding his hand and watching Cas talk to the farmer with child-like glee.

“Dean, did you hear that? We can get started on bee keeping for only five hundred dollars! He’s willing to cut us a deal to get us started.” Cas is grinning that gummy smile of his, gently tugging at the hand incased in his.

If Dean didn’t love Cas more than anything on this Earth (definitely more than Baby, maybe the same amount as Sam) he wouldn’t agree.

He does, however, so he grumbles out, “Okay fine.”

“Really?” Cas’s eyes go big as saucers.

“Really.  Let’s just get this over with before I change my mind.”

**_45._ **

Dean is a messy eater and it drives Cas up the wall.

Tonight for dinner they had wings, or rather Dean had wings, Cas and Sam had vegetable stir fry. Sam managed to eat his food with minimal error, Dean however must have a running bet with himself to see how much sauce he could get on his shirt and face with each bite.

Cas breaks, “ Give me your shirt. ”

“What?” Dean asks, mouth full.

“Your shirt. Give it to me. You’ve made an absolute mess out of it and yourself.” Cas huffs.

Dean raises an eyebrow and shares a look with his brother before taking his sauce smeared shirt off and handing it over to Cas.

The angel begins rubbing the sauce off Dean’s face with the clean parts of his shirt, the other man grumbling and complaining in surprise.

Sam is in tears from his laughter by the end of it, but Dean is no longer smeared in sauce and Cas is content.

**_46._ **

Cas thought going to the bar with Sam and Dean would be fun, he thought wrong.

It had been fun at first, plastered against Dean’s side and pretending not to notice as his boyfriend stole sips from his “girly” drink. Then Dean had gotten up and headed to the bar to get more drinks.

Sam and Cas kept their conversation for a while, maybe about half an hour, but as it carried on the two had noticed Dean still wasn’t back.

He was still at the bar, laughing and smiling with the bartender. She was a beautiful, younger woman with dark skin and big eyes. Her smile was wide as she talked to Dean, clearly flustered.

Cas’s stomach twisted at the sight and before Dean could even come back, he dismissed himself to the car.

Which brings him to now.

Knuckles wrap on the glass of the driver’s seat window and Cas instantly knows it’s Dean without even looking.

“ I don’t want to talk to you. ” He mutters as Dean opens the door and slides behind the wheel.

“You don’t always get what you want, sweetheart.” Dean says cheerfully, clearly not gauging Cas’s mood for all that it is.

“Clearly.” He says shortly, rolling his eyes.

“What’s gotten into you?” Dean asks frowning.

“Ask the bartender.” Cas replies and it’s so petty, he knows it is, but he can’t help it.

There’s a long, quiet moment.

“Are you jealous?” Dean asks slowly.

“No.” Cas’s response is icy.

“I was just trying to get us free drinks. Sorry, I should’ve told you that before getting up.” Dean is leaning over into Cas’s space. His large hand is curled around Cas’s thigh, his nose gently pressed against his collar bone.

He would’ve never pulled this kind of affection out of Dean in the earlier days of their relationship and just thinking of it makes Cas’s knees just a little weak.

“You’re it for me Cas, I mean it. Come back inside, I promise you’ll have a cute little fruity drink with an umbrella waiting for you to prove what I said.” Dean’s warm lips brush against his freezing skin and he lets out the tiniest little sigh.

“Fine, if there isn’t one you’re sleeping in the car tonight.”

**_47._ **

Hunting as a human is an adjustment, Cas is beginning to realize as he takes yet another punch from a rather zealous vampire. He had been caught off guard and briefly allowed it to get an upper hand.

He easily flips it around before he gets a third punch, grabbing the vampire’s wrist and snapping it. Distracted by the broken wrist, Cas is able to pull up his machete and knock the vampire’s head clear off with it.

“ You’re bleeding! ” Dean exclaims after catching sight of Cas. The former angel presses a hand beneath his eye and pulls back bloodied fingers.

“It appears that way, yes.” He says calmly. Sam lets out a shocked bark of laughter and Dean sends him a dirty look.

“Let’s get back to the motel room so I can take a look at that.” He says gruffly and Cas gives him a gummy smile in response.

**_48._ **

Cas is sorely unimpressed.

“ Nothing, including you, is going to stop me. ”

“Your leg is broken Dean, I do not think it would take much to stop you at all.” Cas replies tiredly, having listened to his boyfriend’s ranting and raving for the better part of the last hour.

“I am not staying at this stupid hospital overnight.” Dean grouses, throwing his head back against his pillow with a huff.

“Keep doing that then, that’ll certainly get you out sooner.” Cas mumbles.

“The sarcasm isn’t appreciated.” Dean growls.

“The tantrum is not appreciated and yet look where we are.”

_**49.** _

Dean is fidgeting.

Noticeably, visibly,  _audibly_ fidgeting.

“Are you alright Dean?” Cas asks slowly, observing his friend.

“No and it’s all your fault!” The man spits out so quickly it makes Cas’s head spin. Almost instantly he looks mortified.

“How is that?” The angel asks, more than a little confused.

“Everything you do is driving me fucking crazy and I just,” He scratches his neck, “This sounded a lot better in my head.  What I’m trying to say is that I’m like  _inlovewithyou_ or whatever.”

Cas blinks, “I’m in love with you too.”

“Okay,” Dean nods, “Cool, just uh, wanted you to know.”

**_50._ **

Cas is talking about some lore shit he found, at least Dean thinks he is, he kind of tuned out after the third rendition of the different types of blood sacrifice.

He’s watching Cas speak with rapt attention, despite the way not a single word is processing, just watching as his lips move as he gestures widely with his hands.

“ I just want to kiss you right now. ” Dean blurts out, against his own accord.

Cas’s head tilts.

“Please not in front of me.” Sam says hastily and Dean honestly forgot he was in the room.

“Later then, I do not wish to upset your brother.” Cas replies casually and Dean’s mouth dries.

“Alright then.”

**_51._ **

The rinky dink bar’s flashing sign lights up against the dark sky. Dean slows as they pass it, glancing at it offhandedly.

“ It’s been a while. ” Cas comments.

“Yeah, it has, hasn’t it.” Dean replies, he hadn’t been to the bar in a while. He only really goes to pick up women and since he hadn’t been doing that lately he’s had no reason to go, electing to drink in motel rooms or not at all.

“You’re not going?” Cas asks, eyebrows furrowed as Dean blows past the bar.

Dean casts a look at him for as long as he dares while driving, the angel’s face lit up with fading neon lights.

“Nah, I got what I need right here.”

**_52._ **

Dean can see the way Cas’s jaw is clenched from a mile away.

“J ust give me a chance. ” Dean pleads, trying to close the distance between them.

“A chance to hurt me again, not likely Dean.” Cas says bluntly, leaving no room for argument.

Of course, Dean being Dean, he finds room.

“A chance to  talk,” Dean corrects, “Cas I love you. There’s no one else for me, you’re like my fucking soulmate or something.” His ears are burning red at the sappy shit coming from his mouth but he persists.

He crosses more distance between them, Cas is watching him apprehensively.

“It’s not easy for me to say things, but I thought I was being clear in my actions. Clearly I haven’t been though and I’m really sorry for that, sweetheart, I am. If you don’t feel comfortable with me flirting to get information on cases, I won’t, I can find other ways.” He continues and when Dean is right in front of Cas, he doesn’t back off.

The angel stares him down, gaze like iron.

“Please say something, Cas, please? Even if it’s just to tell me to fuck off.” Dean presses.

“You are an idiot.” Cas responds almost immediately.

“I know, you’re right.” Dean agrees quickly.

“How would you feel if I did something like that?” Cas asks slowly, blue eyes like ice.

“Furious. I see that now, I promise it’ll never happen again. I’m bad at this shit Cas, I need some gentle prodding sometimes, but I promise I’m never intentionally trying to hurt you.” Dean says gently and when he reaches out for Cas the other man lets him.

Dean holds Cas between his arms and gently presses kisses against his jaw. Finally Cas gives in and gently grabs the back of Dean’s jacket.

“Okay, I believe you. I’ll do better at letting you know my boundaries.”

Dean sighs in relief, “Thank you Cas.”

**_53._ **

Dean isn’t sure what’s more embarrassing: that he’s the one being led in dancing or that he doesn’t know how to dance in the first place.

“I’m gonna stomp on your toes.” Dean says nervously, pulling apart before they can even start dancing. His boyfriend looks at him, unimpressed.

“ Just trust me, okay? ” Cas replies, holding his hand out for Dean again.

“Okay okay...” He nervously reaches for his hand and then pulls it back away, “What if I fall over and kill us under my weight?”

“Dean.”

“It’s a valid concern, Cas.”

**_54._ **

Dean lives for moments on the road where it feels almost like normal. Like he’s just an average guy on a road trip with his brother and his boyfriend and not a hunter.

Sam is sprawled out in the backseat asleep, Cas similarly asleep in the passenger seat with his face against the window.

It’s an empty stretch of country road, just stars overhead and nothing else.

Cas shifts and rolls to face him, eyes opening to blink tiredly.

“Where are we?”  He asks roughly, sounding as though he just gargled gravel.

“Passing through the countryside, sweetheart, should be to our motel soon.”

“Oh, okay. You look pretty.” He says, words slurring with his fatigue.

“Thanks Cas, you too.” Dean replies, mirth in his tone.

“You two are sickening.” Sam tiredly mutters from the backseat.

“Shut up Sammy.”

**_55._ **

Dean wishes he never went to Sam about his feelings for Cas. He gave him some seriously bad advice, _“Dude just tell him”_ , and hasn’t stopped making kissy faces every time Cas turns his attention away.

Cas turns his head and instantly Sam is making a heart shape with his hands, batting his eyelashes dramatically.

“ Stop being so childish. ” Dean hisses quietly through his teeth, kicking Sam’s foot beneath the table.

His brother jumps from the impact, smacks his knee on the table, and yelps.

**_56._ **

Cas narrows his eyes as he edges onto the couch next to Dean, overly cautious.

“ I’ve changed, I swear. ” Dean says defensively, holding his hands up in surrender.

“If you tickle me Dean I will be forced to stab you.” Cas warns, then properly leans his weight into Dean’s side.

Dean  had been planning to tickle Cas, but with a statement like that... does he even have the balls to try?

As if sensing his boyfriend’s thoughts, Cas’s hand roughly grabs Dean’s thigh just enough to hurt before letting it go, leaving his hand there as a warning. He licks his lips and decides not to try his luck.

**_57._ **

Cas can tell by the way that Dean is pacing that he’s done something wrong, but he can’t for the life of him figure out why him accepting a drink at the bar caused such an explosive reaction.

“I’m sorry, Dean. I didn’t realize the implications.” He finally speaks up, still not understanding the implications, but wanting to.

“Sorry isn’t enough!  Man, you can’t just accept drinks from the bar you haven’t seen someone make. It’s  _dangerous_.”

“I won’t do it again.” Cas nods firmly.

This human stuff is hard to comprehend, but he thinks he might be getting a hang of it.

**_58._ **

Dean sighs inaudibly, watching Cas’s eyes light up as they walk into the pet store. Their joined hands swing between their bodies and despite his frustration, his chest is warm with affection.

He doesn’t really want a pet with the life they live, but Cas had been asking incessantly for weeks now.

He finally caved, firmly gave Cas the rule of no dogs, and drove them to the nearest pet store. Sam had complained the entire car ride about going to a store over an adoption center, but no adoption agency in their right mind would allow people living out of their car to adopt.

“Dude you’re so whipped.” Sam laughs as Cas ducks out of view into one of the aisles.

“I am not.” Dean scoffs.

Cas rushes back, nearly knocking Dean over, “How do we feel about rats?”

Dean says “I don’t see why not.” at the exact same time Sam says “They need a lot of playtime outside their cage, maybe look at something more independent.”

Cas nods and scurries back off, his trench coat whipping dramatically behind him.

Dean catches Sam looking at him with raised brows.

“I’m not whipped, stop looking at me like that.”

“ Wow, you are a terrible liar. ” His brother remarks, amused.

“Shut up.”

**_59._ **

The type of father that John was has always caused Dean to move slightly to the left of what would make him happy- especially in the matters of sexuality.

Even years after John is dead and ash, Dean fights to find the words to say to Sam. He knows his brother well, knows Sam won’t care that him and Cas are dating, but he’s afraid nonetheless.

“Cas and I are... a thing.” Dean supplies hesitantly after a long pause, eyes trained on the road in front of the Impala so he doesn’t have to see his brother’s reaction.

“Y ou think I haven’t noticed? ” Sam asks and it knocks the wind from his chest.

“What?” He asks, breathless.

“I mean I noticed Cas was in love with you ages ago, Dean. Like,  _shortly after we met him_ , ages ago. It took you a few years, but I noticed when you finally got there too.” Sam supplies.

“Right.” Dean licks his lips, relieved and a pinch embarrassed, “Of course you noticed.”

**_60._ **

Dean is handsy while drunk and if Sam wasn’t a little tipsy himself he would be drowning himself in the bathtub from pure embarrassment.

Sam smiles at the two, the former angel grumbling as Dean presses against his thigh and drunkenly rubs his face against a Cas’s jaw. The two had been dating for a while and Sam had known for just as long, but he’s very rarely seen them show any affection that isn’t an arm around Cas’s waist or a chaste kiss.

“ Dance with me. ” Dean demands, eyes lit up with excitement.

“I am not nearly drunk enough to dance in public.” Cas supplies, shooting Dean a fond look of annoyance.

“Then get drunk enough.” Dean retorts, crowding in so close to Cas that he finally gives up and wraps an arm around his boyfriend.

Cas looks at Sam with a look that screams “can you believe I put up with this” and Sam just grins because yes, yes he can believe it.

**_61._ **

Cas loves Dean more than anything in the history of ever, he really does, but he drives him  insane  sometimes.

Cas exhales, raking a hand through his hair as Dean stomps from the motel room.

“ Want me to beat him up for you? ” Sam jokingly offers.

“I can’t ask that of you, it’s a conflict of interest.” Cas replies, rolling his eyes.

“Should’ve thought about that before dating your best friend’s brother.” Sam says, raising his eyebrow.

“I did, however, I did not account for the fact Dean is insufferable.” Cas says seriously.

Sam snorts.

“I had better go after him before he stews too long.” Cas mutters.

“Probably a good idea.” Sam says, but Cas is already on his way out the door.

**_62._ **

Cas knows the press of Dean’s palms to his hips, how his lips feel pressed against his. Knows that Dean has a weak spot behind his ear, knows what it feels to pull his lip between his own and  tug.  He knows that Dean loves being the little spoon, that he grumbles all the way through having his hair played with and that he loves it anyway.

He knows all these things and he can’t even have them anymore.

Breaking up shouldn’t feel like a prison sentence, but it does. It feels like being put behind bars and dangling the keys in front of him. He can’t imagine not sitting leaning forward while sitting in the backseat of Baby to rest his head on Dean’s seat so he can be close to him. He can’t imagine not pulling him close after a hunt and kissing him hard with no regard for the blood and bite of wounds.

He’s done it, he’s lived many millennia without it, but he can’t imagine doing it again.

“ I’ll miss you. ” Cas says, not trying to drag things out but not wanting to leave more unsaid than he already is. Dean wants this, Dean thinks it’s for the best, and Cas can only oblige.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Dean says and the words feel like the last nail in the coffin.

_‘You are though.’_

Cas swallows the words down and nods, “Okay.”

**_63._ **

Dean shuts his eyes tightly and yelps, digging his fingers into the meat of Cas’s arm.

“ I’ve got it under control , Dean.” Cas replies, fighting the urge to roll his eyes while driving in fear of his boyfriend’s dramatic outburst if he did.

“No you don’t!” Dean gripes, “You’re being rough with her.”

“She will be fine. If she is anything like her owner she might even like it.” Cas mutters.

“Take that back.” Dean says, mortified.

“Dude.” Sam guffaws, having been in the backseat the entire time.

**_64._ **

“ If you start crying, I’m going to cry too. ” The thought is mortifying to Dean as he feels his eyes burn the longer he stares at Cas’s glossy eyes.

If there’s any appropriate day for Dean to cry it would be on their wedding day, but he disregards it anyway when he remembers all the people there.

He would catch hell from Bobby for weeks and he can’t even imagine the reaction  _Sam_ would give him.

“I‘m sorry, I’m just happy.” Cas sniffs, offering Dean his gummy smile, and it feels like everything falls into place.

**_65._ **

Cas pulls back from Dean’s lips, his boyfriend chasing after him with a grumble.

“We can kiss later Dean, your brother might see us.” Cas reminds him, fond as he brushes a thumb over the back of his hand.

“ Who gives a shit? ” Dean gripes, but pulls back into his own space.

“I thought you did.” Cas says, bewildered.

Dean’s eyes widen, “I thought  you  did.”

“Forget what I said then.” Cas barely gives Dean a chance to respond before crowding back into his space, fiercely kissing him up against the side of the Impala.

**_66._ **

Dean does not dream of hell often, but when he does it’s almost as if he can feel it in his bones.

He jolts awake, jaw aching and something crawling beneath his skin.

“ Hey, hey, it’s just me. ” Cas mutters softly, placing a large hand at the center of Dean’s back. He lets out a shuttering breath and turns, leaning in on Cas like he will shatter without his touch.

He feels like he will.

He presses in a little closer as Cas presses chaste kisses against Dean’s bare shoulder and grips him tight.

When his jaw eventually loosens and his skin settles, Cas maneuvers them both back against the mattress.

Dean falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

**_67._ **

“ It’s my fault she’s dead. ” Cas sniffles into Dean’s shoulder.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, when’s the last time you saved? You can go back and save her.” He tries soothing his boyfriend.

“I haven’t saved in hours.” He whines.

Dean knows he should’ve never told him about choose your own adventure games.

**_68._ **

Being newly human has its perks, but it has its downsides as well. Cas has watched humanities for ages, but watching is not the same as experiencing.

His favorite thing to experience, not so surprisingly, is food. Dean likes to cook and is somewhat of a foodie himself, it’s easy to fall into that line of thinking when he spends all his time with his boyfriend.

They’re in the gas station getting snacks when Cas sees a green packet of skittles. He likes skittles, a  lot , but he’s only ever tried the red pack. He picks it up and flips the package over in his hand.

“I wouldn’t get those if I were you. I don’t think you would like sour things.” Dean says, siding up behind him, his hand slides over Cas’s hipbone and the former angel forms the tiniest little grin.

“I want it, I am curious.” Cas replies and the two go to check out their snacks.

They’re barely out the door when Cas tears the bag open and pops one of the skittles into his mouth. Just as quickly his face pinches.

“You’re right Dean, I don’t like those.” Cas grumbles to his boyfriend after having to fight to chew and swallow the candy.

“ I hate to say ‘I told you so’, but… I told you so. ” Dean says smugly and Cas casts him a glare.

Dean presses a big, smacking kiss to his cheek. “Here, sweetheart, you can have my Doritos and I’ll eat your sour skittles. Okay?”

Cas grins, “Okay, Dean. Thank you.”

**_69._ **

Dean is warm, cozy, and he does not want to get out of bed. He can hear Sam getting ready and feel that Cas is awake around him.

“Wake up Dean, time to get ready.” Cas mumbles in his ear and he lets out a large grumble that could rival a bear. He grabs Cas’s arm that’s slung over his hip and uses it to pull the angel closer, sinking further into his grip.

“ Can we just skip work and sleep in some more? ” Dean asks.

“We could, but I do not think Sam would like that.” Cas responds, ever the reasonable one.

“Ugh fine. Give me a moment.”

**_70._ **

Dean hates when Cas is mad at him, but he can’t seem to stop himself from pissing him off. He sees the warning signs before they come, but he continues on despite it. Like a little boy on the playground, he keeps tugging at Cas’s metaphorical pigtails until he snaps on him.

Being emotionally repressed means he doesn’t know how else to convey he wants his attention.

“ I know you’re mad at me, but please open the door. ” Dean pleads, gently knocking at Cas’s door.

“I do not want to. You are going to tease me and I am frankly not in the mood.” His voice is muffled by the door considerably.

“I know. Shit, I’m sorry Cas.” Dean says and tries to ignore how pitiful he feels.

The door swing opens and Dean is staring Cas in the eye, stomach twisting with nerves.

“I do not understand why you act this way if you want me around.” The angel says, matter of fact.

“Neither do I.” Dean lies. He knows that he doesn’t know how to ask for attention and acts out because it’s the only way he can comprehend it.

Not exactly like he can tell Cas that though, now can he?

“Work on it.” Cas says shortly and Dean is nodding before he can even finish his sentence.

**_71._ **

No matter how many times Dean saves someone or how many times he does inherently good things, he can’t accept that he deserves the same treatment.

Cas knew that long before they started dating, the only difference is now he can drown Dean in affection for the desired outcome.

Laying together in bed, the angel holds his lover in his arms. Cas’s hand cups Dean’s cheek,  the other hand gently rubbing patterns into the small of his back. 

“Do you ever regret being with me?” Dean asks, voice hoarse.

“ I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but being with you isn’t one of them. ” Cas says strongly, pressing a gentle kiss to Dean’s forehead.

He ducks his head and tucks it beneath Cas’s chin, his grin pressed to his boyfriend’s collar bone.

**_72._ **

Sleeping never comes easy to Dean, especially not with the way his brain likes to run five hundred miles an hour as soon as his head hits the pillow.

“Cas... I slept with your sister once.” Dean says mortified, eyes flying open as the realization hits.

“ I’m happy for you. ” Cas grumbles back, having actually laid down to sleep too.

Not having to sleep doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy it.

“You saw me kiss her. That’s so fucked up.” His spine crawls thinking about it.

“Yes I did Dean, go back to sleep.” Cas mutters, his breath hot against the hollow of Dean’s throat.

“I am so sorry.” He says.

“We were not in a committed relationship at the time, I can not be mad.” Cas reasons with him, but Dean can tell his patience is running low.

Despite that he still says, “I know but-“

“I could sleep with Sam and make it even.” Cas interrupts, sarcasm heavy on his tongue.

“Why would you say that?” Dean asks, cringing.

“Why would you bring up having intercourse with Anna several years ago?” Cas bites back.

“Good point.” Dean mumbles, closing his eyes and attempting to go back to sleep.

It’s silent for a few moments.

His eyes fly open as the thought hits him, “You’re not actually going to sleep with Sam are you?”

“The longer you keep me awake the more appealing it becomes.”Cas tilts his head and threateningly bites at Dean’s jaw. It doesn’t hurt at all, in fact Dean kind of likes it, but his stomach is swarming with Cas’s teasing.

It isn’t very funny, he decides.

“Shut up, I hate you. He wouldn’t do it anyway.” Dean retorts, cheeks burning.

“Dude if you don’t shut up I’m going to do it to spite you.” Sam grumbles from the other motel bed and Dean resists the urge to scream.

“It’s fine, I wouldn’t sleep with Sam anyway. He’s too tall.” Cas mutters.

Sam lets out an indignant huff, “Didn’t want to sleep with you anyway.”

“Oh okay.” Dean says, almost relieved.

“Adam on the other hand...” Cas trails off and despite obviously making a joke it makes Dean’s stomach turn.

Why he ever thought bringing this up was a good idea is lost on him.

“Stop, I’m begging. I’ll go back to sleep.” He pleads and Cas laughs against Dean’s throat, vibrating his skin.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop. I’m sorry for teasing you Dean, I would never sleep with any of your siblings.” The angel replies placatingly, gently pressing several soft kisses against Dean’s neck.

“Good.” He huffs, hating how easily that soothes him.

**_73._ **

Dean loves Cas’s eyes. They’re expressive and he can always count on those eyes to tell him he’s loved.

Those same eyes are like glaciers right now. Powerful and strong as he is, Dean can see the hurt in those eyes and he hates that he had to put that there.

“Cas I’m just trying to protect us both. You know hunting is dangerous enough as it is, being in love leaves us vulnerable.” Their love is too precious, too soft, for the work they do. For as long as Dean hunts he can’t love someone, he learned that with Lisa.

“Hunting is more important to you than me, then?” Cas scoffs, turning his back to Dean.

Staring at the expanse of his back hurts less than staring at his teary eyes.

“I didn’t say that.” Dean mutters, knowing that’s essentially what he just told him.

“Then stop hunting,” Cas turns back towards Dean, “please?”

Dean’s heart seizes in his chest, “You know I can’t just do that, it’s all I know. C’mon Cas-“

Cas holds up a hand, “Just stop. I knew what you were going to say as soon as I asked.

“Just let me explain-“

“Nothing you could say would make this hurt less. ”

“I’m sorry.” Dean swallows hard.

“No you are not. Tell Sam to send a prayer my way if he needs me.” With a rustle of feathers, he’s gone.

Dean stares at the place he left, mouth dry, and hopes he made the right choice.

**_74._ **

Dean knows how to talk to people, in the terms of how to land a hookup or get a vic’s family member to talk. Talking about his feelings isn’t the same as talking to people. He’s gotten better over the years at letting Sam how he is feeling with some gentle prodding, but despite that it’s much harder to say what he feels when Cas is looking at him so softly.

He’s been planning this for weeks and yet he falters, the words he practiced in the mirror that morning gone in a puff of smoke.

“I- shit, I don’t know how to say this Cas.” He manages to get out after a long silent moment.

“That’s okay, Dean. Take your time.” The worst part is that he knows that Cas would wait forever for him to speak if he asked him to. He wants to pause this, push it to the side, but he has been for years now and life isn’t getting any longer.

“ I love you so much, and I can’t bear to think about what life would be like without you. ” Dean finally manages to get out, his throat dry and his hands clammy.

Cas’s hand traces Dean’s jaw, pad of his thumb brushing against stubble and he can only struggle to keep his eyes on Cas instead of closing them like he so desperately wants to.

“I love you too, Dean. I have so many pretty flowery words I could offer you, but I know that’s not what you want to hear. I love you, I always have, I’ll be here so long as you want me.”

**_75._ **

Cas swallows down dark green jealousy whole and tries not to shiver as it gets stuck in his chest. He aches so deeply it feels bone deep, he barely resists the urge to rub at his sternum.

Dean is unaware completely, smiling at the pretty blonde witness.

“You know if you just told him...” Sam trails off, giving Cas a meaningful look.

“ Do you think I wanted this? ” Cas asks sharply and then immediately swallows down the shame at snapping at Sam.

It settles uneasily with the jealousy, like oil and water.

“No, but you could change it, you know?” Sam isn’t mad, of course he isn’t, Cas’s outburst is a walk in a park compared to Dean’s.

“I am not a fool and neither are you.” Cas replies shortly and the conversation is dropped.

Cas feels sick on his stomach and wonders what’s so great about love if this is what he has to look forward to.

**_76._ **

It’s easy to forget Cas is as powerful as he is when he sees him in his goofy trench coat, using air quotes, and misunderstanding common phrases.

It’s easy to forget until Cas gives him a reason to remember, radiating power so strongly Dean damn near feels it in his pores.

A knife is to Dean’s throat and yet he’s trembling at the sight of the power his best friend holds instead of fear at his life being threatened.

“ If you lay a finger on him, I’ll kill everyone in this room. ”

Dean knows that’s a promise by the pure conviction in his tone.

The other hunter seems to realize it too, pulling the knife away from his neck and stepping back.

“Good.” Cas voice rumbles quietly like thunder and Dean’s knees almost buckle for reasonscompletely unrelated to fear.

**_77._ **

“ If you lay a finger on her, I’ll make sure it’s the last thing you do. ” Cas mutters angrily at the T.V. in front of him, watching with trained focus as the drama unfolds.

“Jeez sweetheart, don’t smite the T.V.”

“Quiet Dean.”

**_78._ **

Dean stares at the water damaged ceiling from his motel bed and wonders where the hell he went wrong.

Sam’s assurance of, “ There was nothing you could’ve done. ” doesn’t have the affect his brother was likely going for.

He stares a little harder at the ceiling and pretends his arms don’t ache with Cas’s absence.

**_79._ **

Living in close quarters with his brother is hard enough, living in close quarters with his brother  and  his boyfriend is a whole different type of difficult. He tries his best not to scar his brother for life, but even he is bound to slip up and cause his brother to get an eyeful.

Sam has taken to bitching about it at any available opportunity. It drives Dean insane and Cas has very little regard for it at all.

“ You’re going to get me into trouble. ” Dean grumbles, trying to pretend to be annoyed as Cas crowds him up against the side of the bathroom sink.

“You will survive. I, however, will die if I don’t get a kiss.”

The scoff leaving Dean’s mouth is promptly cut off when Cas digs his fingers into Dean’s hips and plants a heated kiss to his mouth.

Sam can’t complain about what he can’t see.

**_80._ **

Dean loves his brother, he does, but he is also planning to make him drop dead with the power of his glare alone. Not even a week after he tells Sam his feelings for Cas and he manages to find a case where they would have to pretend to be dating?

He’s not slick at all.

The party they’re going to is formal, no comfy hunter clothes for them. Dean is wearing a white button down and some nice dress pants, Cas is dressed similarly but has his tie on.

Dean’s arm is across Cas’s back, hand tucked into his back pocket. Cas’s body is tilted towards him, a free hand fidgeting with a button on Dean’s stomach.

The two of them had been practicing ways of being affectionate in the mirror to check if they’re convincing- per Sam’s insistence.

“ We’d be such a hot couple. ” Dean says, his tone joking despite the way he desperately agrees with his words.

“Yes, we would.” Cas agrees, tilting his head.

“Alright,” Dean clears his throat, “time to bait and kill a homophobic ghost.”

**_81._ **

“Cas-“ Dean tries, grasping for his boyfriend’s wrist. The angel breaks his hold just as quickly as Dean manages it.

“ So many people warned me about you, but I didn’t listen. ” Cas rasps, eyes full of tears.

“What?” Dean asks, his voice barely a whisper.

“That righteous man only cares about your usefulness to him, what happens when you burn through your grace? He’s corrupted you, Castiel. You’ve fallen from heaven for one man, don’t you see how poorly this will end? He doesn’t care about what you have going on, only about what you can do for him.” Cas recites, pacing the floor.

Dean’s eyes sting, “Let me fix this.”

Cas shakes his head, “I am tired of this Dean, I am tired of being hurt.”

“What are you saying?” Dean asks, voice taunt.

“We shouldn’t be together anymore.”

**_82._ **

“I’m not in love with him, Sammy.” Dean mutters unconvincingly.

Maybe it would’ve held any ground at all if he wasn’t staring lovingly at the sleeping former angel from the rear view mirror before he got called out.

“ What a load of bullshit. ” Sam replies, rolling his eyes.

**_83._ **

He likes to think the reason he didn’t tell Cas about knowing him is because of needing him for Sam, but the truth is Dean just isn’t sure what to say.

Best friends? Maybe once upon a time. Enemies? Dean doesn’t think he could ever call Cas that. Someone he loved dearly that betrayed him? It’s accurate, sure, but when does Dean ever spell things out so simply?

The cat is out of the bag now, so to speak, so Dean swallows down his fears and opens up the trunk of the car.

“ I still have your jacket. ” He mutters. He hands over the blood stained coat to Cas, carefully folded and transferred between every car Dean’s had since Cas went out into the water.

It feels a hell of a lot like forgiveness, he hopes Cas can feel it too.

**_84._ **

“ On a scale of one to ten, how much does it hurt? ” Cas asks Dean, staring down the tattoo machine.

Freshly human means fresh ink. Dean couldn’t let him wander around without an anti possession tattoo.

“Like maybe a three, look, I’ll be right here.” Dean replies, almost embarrassed by the earnest way Cas looks back over to him.

“Okay.”

Cas stares at Dean the entire time he’s getting tattooed and if Dean reaches out to hold his hand, just barely hidden by the chair- well, no one had to know.

**_85._ **

Dean stares long and hard at Cas, “ You should wear this more often. ”

Long gone is the holy tax accountant outfit, an old bleach marked Led Zeppelin shirt and baggy flannel pants taking up residence instead.

Cas’s head tilts to the side, “It’s your pajamas, Dean.”

**_86._ **

“ I’m scared .” Dean whispers against Cas’s lips and it damn near feels like a prayer.

“I know, me too.” Cas replies to his words and his kiss.

**_87._ **

Dean stares at Cas as he storms from the bar, trench coat swishing as he goes.

His heart drops into his chest watching him leave, “ This is the part where you’re supposed to tell me everything will be okay. ”

“If you stop being a coward and go after him, maybe.” Sam retorts, his lips pressed against his beer as if speaking into it.

Dean blinks slowly, tightening and loosening his grip on the beer in his hand.

“Fuck it.” He throws back the last of his beer and takes off after Cas.

**_88._ **

“Cas would take my side.” Sam says triumphantly, crossing his arms across his chest.

“ Wanna bet? ” Dean retorts, eyebrow raised.

“No,” Sam admits, “not really.

**_89._ **

“Hey, Castiel?”

Cas whirls around so quickly it nearly gives Dean whiplash following the motion.

His eyes narrow, “ What the hell did you just say to me? ”

“Castiel?” Dean slowly says.

“Cas. I am not of God, I am of  _you_.”

Dean flounders for a moment, uselessly opening and closing his mouth.

“Now, what did you have to ask me?” Cas asks, as if not noticing his predicament.

“Do you wanna watch Tombstone?” He asks, mind still reeling from Cas’s words.

_Of him? What the hell did that mean?_

“Yes, I would love to.”

**_90._ **

“I hate having to come up with last names on the spot.” Cas grumbles, throwing himself into Dean’s lap as he walks into the motel room and over to the bed.

“ That’s not going to be a problem anymore. ” Dean says slyly, pulling a folded piece of paper from the pocket of his flannel coat.

“Is that really how you’re choosing to propose to him?” Sam asks, turning his gaze from his laptop to the couple.

“Yeah,” Dean says then turns his attention back to Cas, “so?”

Cas gives him a gummy grin and presses a kiss to his temple, “Seems like a good solution to me.”

**_91._ **

“ Why are you doing this? ” Even though it’s supposed to be a question it feels like pleading, even to Dean’s own ears.

“For you.” Cas is gone, just like that, and Dean nearly staggers into the empty space he leaves behind.

**_92._ **

Dean can’t handle it anymore. The skating around his feelings, ignoring Cas’s that stand out like a bright beacon, and trying to pretend the rising jealousy in him isn’t making him absolutely sick to his stomach.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mutters quietly in Cas’s ear, disregarding the gaze of the man across the booth from him.

“I thought you would never ask.” The smirk his angel offers him is wicked.

“So should I call you?” The other man asks, watching as Cas slides out of the booth to stand next to Dean.

“Don’t bother, buddy.” Dean all but grumbles out, pressing a guiding hand to Cas’s lower back.

**_93._ **

“ You’ve hurt me again and again, but I can’t stop coming back to you. ” Despite the words being so emotionally charged, Cas says it like it’s nothing large at all. Like he’s reciting the weather instead of dropping a bombshell of guilt on Dean’s lap and telling him to get over it.

“Why?” Dean croaks, ignoring how rough he sounds.

Cas looks at him, bright eyed and open, “Because it’s you, Dean.”

**_94._ **

Dean’s never been good at feelings or romance- or anything with emotional depth, really.

He’s trying really, he wants to make Valentine’s Day special for Cas. He drives them to a secluded spot with an overlook of the mountains, resting against the hood of Baby as they watch the sunset.

He takes yet another cautious sip of his beer and ignores the way his tongue feels too big for his mouth, watching Cas’s features highlighted by the lowering sun.

Pink, gold, then nothing. Just starlight that doesn’t quite reach them.

He tries for the words to say, to tell Cas how much he loves him, or how beautiful he looks. He tries to tell him all the sappy shit he sees in other proposals and yet everything falls flat.

He swallows hard, “ Oh, fuck it-will you marry me? ”

Cas’s smile is so fond that it makes Dean dizzy, “Of course I will.”

**_95._ **

Cas glowers at the outfit Dean just handed him. If it could even be considered an outfit, that is. Cas is almost certain those shorts are closer to women’s underwear than anything he could wear out in public.

“ What’s in it for me? ” Cas asks, mulling over the shorts in his hands.

“You’ll look super sexy and I won’t be able to keep my hands off you?” Dean offers with a wince.

“Can we make out in the Impala?” Cas bargains, raising an eyebrow.

“God, yes, absolutely.”

**_96._ **

White hot shame rushes through Dean as his fist connects with Cas’s jaw. It was purely an accident, hunter’s reflexes, but he still nervously hovers.

“ I’m sorry for punching you, but in my defense, you shouldn’t have snuck up on me. ” Dean says worriedly, toeing the line between showing too much worry and not enough.

“It’s fine Dean, however, I may need a... kiss to make it feel better.” Cas says slyly and eases a chuckle out of Dean’s lips.

He gently presses a kiss to Cas’s jaw, “All better.”

“I think I need another, just to make sure.”

Dean can only oblige.

**_97._ **

No matter how much time Cas spends staring at Dean, it always seems to take him by surprise just how beautiful he is.

Cas isn’t quite sure he understands the media’s obsession with comparing love interests to the sun, but the longer he stares at Dean the more it all makes sense. His hair is darker than it used to be, turning blond only where the sun catches it, freckles littering his skin, and eyes green like lush plants.

“ Why are you looking at me like that? ” Dean asks, voice like both honey and whisky.

Maybe not the sun then, but the entirety of summer itself.

“No reason.”

**_98._ **

“You think you’re unlovable, that you are a solider first and a person second.” Cas pauses and Dean resists the urge to interrupt him, “ This is not who you are . You are loved, Dean Winchester, you are loved.”

His ears burn and despite his wish to deny it, he can’t escape the fondness laced in every letter leaving Cas’s lips.

He is loved.

**_99._ **

Dean embarrassedly hides behind his drink and wonders why the hell he ever thought never have I ever was a good idea.

Sam chuckles to himself, “Never have I ever... had feelings for another hunter.”

“ I have to do this. ” Cas mutters so quietly Dean almost misses it. He downs his drink, leaving both brothers completely floored.

Dean is damn near grateful Cas isn’t exactly a hunter, because he would hate to get drunker than he already is and face his admission.

_Who the hell does Cas like?_

**_100._ **

If Dean is horrible at being romantic, Cas takes the cake for giving Dean romantic whiplash. Sometimes his love confessions come from a place of softness, gentle kisses, gifts, and flowery words. Sometimes it comes from a place of built up sexual tension, grabbing hands, exploratory bites, and kisses that bruises.

Other times he just mutters, “ I would die for you. ” against Dean’s lips and leaves him floored.

Dean loves those moments the most.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine’s Day! I know I’m cutting it close with posting this, but these drabbles were originally intended for writing practice and I just so happened to realize I only had 19 to go earlier today and said fuck it! 
> 
> I know drabbles are supposed to be 100 each, but I swear all of these are way under or way over that. Oopsie! Hope you guys enjoy anyway :)
> 
> -Bias


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